Why changing course isn’t failure—it’s growth, and how to support it without panic (679 words, 4 minutes read time.)
When my daughter was four, she told me she wanted to be a unicorn when she grew up. Not the person dressing as one at children’s parties. A real unicorn. She was adamant. By six, the dream had shifted—now she would become a zookeeper who moonlighted as a ballerina. At eight, she was set on designing video games. By ten, she wanted to open a dog sanctuary in Bali.
Fast forward to today, and she’s finishing high school—still full of imagination, just slightly more aware that mythical creatures might not be a viable career track. The point is this: changing your mind is natural. It’s human. And it’s essential.
Yet somewhere between childhood fantasy and career fairs, we’ve developed a kind of educational rigidity. We expect our children, often as early as 14, to make decisions about subject choices and career paths with a level of certainty many adults still lack. And then we panic when they change their minds. But why? Why do we treat “I’ve changed my mind” like an emergency instead of a sign of growth?
Let’s be honest—how many of us are doing exactly what we thought we’d be doing at 16? Life meanders. We evolve. We try things on for size. And if we’re lucky, we get to spend our lives becoming more fully ourselves. The same grace we extend to ourselves, we must afford our children. In fact, I’d argue that the ability to pivot—to rethink and reimagine—is one of the most valuable skills a young person can develop in today’s world. Not just because the job market is constantly shifting (which it is), but because the most meaningful lives are rarely linear.
Take Steve Jobs. Dropped out of college. Took a calligraphy class. That class, he said, was foundational in shaping the elegant typography of Apple computers. Hardly a straight line. Or consider Maya Angelou—dancer, singer, journalist, civil rights activist, poet, professor. At no point would a school subject choice have captured her full trajectory. This is the age of adaptability. And if we want our children to thrive in it, we need to stop viewing their shifts in interest as failure. We need to see them as data points—glimpses into what excites, frustrates, challenges, and moves them.
So what can we do, as parents?
- First, resist the urge to panic. When your teen says they no longer want to be a doctor after two years of dreaming about it, take a breath. Ask them why. Not in an accusatory way, but with curiosity: What changed? What are you feeling drawn to now? Their answers might surprise you—and more importantly, they’ll likely teach them something too.
- Second, share your own story. Tell them about the detours in your own journey. About the job you thought you’d love but didn’t. About the course you failed. About the passion that came out of nowhere. Normalise the nonlinear.
- And finally, champion their courage to explore. In a world that often rewards conformity, having the audacity to question your path is brave.
At NextGen, we believe in cultivating that kind of bravery. We help teens explore with intention, reflect with courage, and shape futures that are deeply personal, not pre-determined. Through our self-paced journey, learners build the clarity, confidence, conviction, and resilience to adapt, reimagine, and own their path—no matter how many turns it takes. Because if we want our kids to build lives of meaning, we need to stop fearing the pivot and start celebrating it.
Want more insights like this? Welcome to “Raising Forward” — Parenting success without the panic button.
Hi, I’m Allison. Parent, mom, and founder of NextGen. Sometimes raising a teen can feel like diffusing a time bomb 🙂 I’ve put together a bunch of expert-backed strategies which I found valuable and will share with you every 2 weeks. I call these tips “RAISING FORWARD” — designed for parents helping their teens move ahead with purpose. Give your teen wings to fly! Prepare. Prevail. Prosper.