How narrowing focus too early can limit a young person’s potential—and what to ask instead. (483 words, 3 minutes read time.)
Picture this: a 14-year-old walks into a school hall decorated with career posters, pamphlets, and professional-looking people. It’s Subject Choice Evening. Decisions will be made tonight. There’s a strange tension in the air—like a life-altering event is about to take place. And in some ways, it is.
These young teens are about to be asked to map the trajectory of their lives by choosing a handful of subjects. Subjects they may never have experienced fully. Subjects that seem unrelated to who they are becoming. Subjects that feel… final. And yet, this is the norm.
We call it preparation. But are we preparing them, or pressuring them?
Here’s the truth: We often ask young people to make adult-level decisions without giving them the foundational tools of self-awareness, reflection, or exploration. We present subject choices like a contract—one that locks them into a fixed path. Imagine if someone told you to pick the one restaurant you’ll eat at for the next decade, without letting you sample the menu. That’s what subject choices can feel like when teens are given options but no process for truly understanding themselves.
We say, “Pick what you’re good at.”
They hear, “Don’t get it wrong.”
We say, “This will shape your future.”
They hear, “This is your future.”
It’s a lot. But what if we reframed the whole thing? Subject choices aren’t meant to define a child. They’re meant to serve them. And to do that, we must start with better questions:
- What energises you—even when it’s hard?
- What frustrates you about the world that you’d love to fix?
- When have you felt most alive, most curious, most proud?
These questions don’t ask teens to predict the future. They invite them to understand themselves. And that self-understanding? That’s the real foundation. The stronger it is, the more confident they’ll be—not just in choosing subjects, but in navigating life’s many crossroads.
At NextGen, we create the space for this. Our learners don’t just get guidance—they get guided inward. We help them discover what makes them tick, what moves them, and what their unique patterns of passion and purpose look like. And from that place, they can choose subjects with clarity, not confusion. Because ultimately, the best subject choice isn’t the “right” one. It’s the real one.
Want more insights like this? Welcome to “Raising Forward” — Parenting success without the panic button.
Hi, I’m Allison. Parent, mom, and founder of NextGen. Sometimes raising a teen can feel like diffusing a time bomb 🙂 I’ve put together a bunch of expert-backed strategies which I found valuable and will share with you every 2 weeks. I call these tips “RAISING FORWARD” — designed for parents helping their teens move ahead with purpose. Give your teen wings to fly! Prepare. Prevail. Prosper.